Image by WAA via Stocksy. In , archaeologist Carlo Maurilio Lerici descended into tombs in the old town of Tarquinia, a necropolis of the refined Etruscan civilization that inhabited ancient Italy from about BC until its assimilation into the Roman Republic in the late 4th century BC. Aside from bodies, he found countless badly damaged frescos depicting comical male boxers, sexualized female dancers, and most notably, in The Tomb of the Floggings , one in which an unclothed woman is bent over and holding the hips of a smiling bearded man while a young man whips her ass from behind—the first discovered example of erotic spanking. And in the past 1,plus years, the sadomasochistic act has been a fascination of everyone from artists to philosophers to sex researchers in one interpretation or another. Bringing the act into the realm of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud looked at its relation to childhood spanking, believing that the punishment early on could lead to sadomasochistic preferences in adulthood. Most recently, it became a contested topic upon the release of 50 Shades of Grey , a novel that thrust BDSM into mainstream American culture, prompting a slew of think pieces and blog posts with open questions on spanking.
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Spanking has always been a hot button issue, but it's always been an issue that has confounded me, both as a child and as an adult. I was only spanked once as a kid, and I was just as confused about what I was supposed to feel about it as my mom was. I'm also a total control freak in most aspects of my life. Other people get stressed out when they have too much to do, but I'm fine as long as I have total control of all of those things. Invite me out to eat dinner with a group of people and I defy you to make me have a good time and not think about the fact that at the end of the meal we're going to have to figure out the bill. For many women, being in control , working to maintain control, or struggling to gain it, these are all huge parts of what it means to be a woman. When we are babied or punished in our daily lives it's never because we want it. It's because we have sexist bosses or colleagues who think it's okay to undermine us just because we have vaginas. Women like being spanked not because they have issues held over from their childhood, or because they have secret self-loathing and think they deserve to be treated badly or abused. Women like being spanked because for just a few, precious seconds they are transported by a pain of their own choosing away from the strictures of control that we have to exercise to survive AND be female at the same time.
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Sex is a funny thing. It exists in this strange little space where you get to say and do things that could get you beat up and banned from mostly anywhere else. Ever try spanking someone because they cut you in line at the grocery store? Not cool.
Hundreds of experts have weighed in on this topic, and a surprising number of women are secretly into being spanked during sex. Or doing the spanking, if that's your thing. And if you follow the right steps, this kind of erotic spanking can take your sex life to the next level. So with that in mind, here are 5 surprising reasons most women love spanking during sex, and how you can use it for maximum pleasure in your bedroom. Other women find that the subversive nature of spanking is very, very pleasurable—and a huge turn-on. To them, this concept is associated with passion and deep desire—and this fulfill's a woman's sexual needs. Forceful sexual play that doesn't get too extreme is a major turn-on to me—and I know many women like myself too.