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She might not even be living according to the moral standards of the Church. Also, we haven't practiced polygamy for over years. Your attempts at being funny or lightening the mood may backfire, and your date may be put off. What upsets me most is that he didn't realize it was my birthday, or a big one and then that his reaction was to get defensive about his plans rather than offer an alternative for celebrating with me. First and most importantly, I see major trust issues in your future if you both think the other is brainwashed. If you do believe it fully, are you not really going to want him to make the conversion ultimately. It's in the Mormon DNA.